


To Find Your Family

by Hekate1308



Series: Children of Purgatory [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean in Purgatory, Gen, Hinted Destiel - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7818538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day, another kill. Or whatever was the equivalent of a day here in this freaking grey woods that never ended. At least the rakshasa had been able to give him an idea where to look for Cas. <br/>Emma finds her father in Purgatory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Find Your Family

_Another day, another kill._

Or whatever was the equivalent of a day here in this freaking grey woods that never ended. At least the rakshasa had been able to give him an idea where to look for Cas.

“We should be moving, brother; if the Leviathans heard us this place will be crawling with them soon enough.”

He nodded and took a step into the direction the monster had indicated. Benny followed him without complaint. Of course that had to do with Dean being his ticket out of this place, but he had come to think of the vampire as a friend.

You couldn’t very well kill your way around Purgatory with someone without becoming friends with the, he supposed.

A scream made him turn around just in time to see Benny quickly decapitate a young female monster that must have been stalking them. He wouldn’t have thought twice about it if he hadn’t recognized these red eyes.

An amazon.

He hadn’t thought of her before. He never did, not when he could help it.

Emma.

Was she here?

Was his – was his – _daughter_ in Purgatory?

She must be. All monsters ended up here, eventually. Sometimes he thought that he belonged here too.

He hadn’t told Benny about her. Hell, he never even talked about her with Sam.

About how she had been doomed from the start just because she was his daughter.

His brother wouldn’t have understood anyway.

“You okay chief?”

He looked up from the dead – well, un-un-dead, again-dead, soon-to-be-alive-again amazon – and nodded.

“Let’s go”.

If Benny wondered, he didn’t ask. Dean was thankful for it. He had to find Cas. He couldn’t dwell on young girls who should never have been born.

God knew if there was someone who shouldn’t pass his genes unto another generation, it would be him.

Still, what would have been if Sam hadn’t come in when he did? Would Emma have tried to kill him or would she have stopped? Maybe they could have talked, maybe –

As always he shoved his silly dreams of being a father away. Even as a kid himself, he’d known it wasn’t for him. He was a hunter, a killer. And that was all he’d ever be.

 If Emma had lived, the safest place for her would have been far away from him.

In truth, he probably shouldn’t have been looking for Cas either. But Benny knew where the portal out was, and he owed Cas to get him out. That and so much more.

But that was another thing he didn’t think about. That was... complicated.

“Dean...” Benny began slowly. He really didn’t want him to continue. He knew that tone. Sam always used it when he wanted to talk about his feelings.

“What is it?” he asked tiredly.

“Have you ever wondered if the angel wants to be found at all?”

“His name is Cas” he snapped, still irritated after thinking about his... about her.

“Sorry. But I’m just saying, there has to be a reason we haven’t found him yet.”

“There is. The Leviathans are chasing him. He’s running.”

“So he left you behind?”

Dean didn’t answer. That moment kept haunting him; he’d turned around, and Cas had been... gone.

Why would he leave like that? They should have stayed together. Maybe Cas couldn’t fly them out of there, but they could have fought side by side, as they had before...

Sometimes, he imagined that Cas was still crazy and that was what had caused him to wander off. Just to think about Cas running around wide-eyed looking for bees while all around him...

In short, no explanation of why the stupid angel had vanished was something Dean wanted to hear.

They’d go after him until they found him, he’d read him the riot act and then he would shove his idiotic angelic ass through the portal if he had to. But they’d find Cas, and they would leave this place, and they’d return home.

Right before they stopped for rest, they were attacked by a pack of werewolves.

_Another day, another kill._

He had long since lost count of how long he’d been here. Purgatory didn’t even have night and day, only this perpetual freaking twilight. But even he knew, what did it signify? He had no idea if the same rules applied to Purgatory as they did to Hell – if one month down here were ten years up there.

If so, there might not even be a point to this exposition, because Sam –

 _Just a little longer_. It was what he always told himself. And surely, they had to find Cas any day – for lack of a better word – now. How far could he have gone, after all? There had to be limits even to Purgatory.

But why did it have to be a never-ending forest? Heaven and Hell seemed... more compact, in comparison.

Dean should know.

At least when he finally bit in and Crowley got his hands on him he’d get a nice torture chamber for himself.

The search continued. One day, he heard screams coming from Northeast and, out of instinct, headed towards them. This didn’t sound like your usual monster fights, but like someone in distress.

He shouldn’t have bothered. Two young woman were already done with the banshee by the time he and Benny had arrived at the clearing.

One of them was –

“Emma?” he asked, moving towards her without really noticing.

“Dean?” she breathed at the same time.

They stood still, studying one another. What was he supposed to do?

“I didn’t expect to see you here” he finally said, rather lamely, he feared; but what was he supposed to tell his own freaking biological undead daughter upon meeting her in Purgatory?

“Yeah, you probably didn’t.”

Before he could answer, someone behind him said, “Hello, Dean.”

Even though it was a female voice, it still gave him a painful stab.

Somehow, she sounded familiar. He found out just how much when he turned around.

“Madison?!”

She gave him a small, somewhat nostalgic smile.

He hadn’t known her for long, and even when they had both been alive he’d mostly left her alone with Sam. But she’d been a pretty cool chick from what he remembered. She’d have made a good addition to the time. Would’ve kept Sam from being so damn grumpy all the time.

If not –

Yeah, if not.

He’d never even considered what the existence of Purgatory meant to the few friendly monsters they had met over time.

“I didn’t... expect to see you either” was all he could say.

“Of course not. How’s Sam?”

She burst into laughter at the face he made.

“Don’t worry, I wanted it, remember?”

Dean relaxed. “So...” he glanced at Emma. “You two know each other?”

His... daughter nodded. “We’ve been hunting together for a while.”

He ignored her use of the word “hunting”. “Like me and Benny, then” he indicated the vampire, who nodded at Emma and Madison. He raised an eyebrow.

Before Dean could begin with a rather... modified explanation, Madison said, “I’m a werewolf but didn’t know it until Sam and Dean arrived in town. When we found out, I asked them to kill me so I wouldn’t hurt anyone else.”

“Being turned can do strange things to you” Benny agreed.

“You don’t know half of it.”

“I’m a vampire, myself”. Benny looked at Emma. “And you are...” he trailed off as she showed him her eyes.

“Can’t say I’ve met many amazons around here” he observed.

“That’s not all she is” Dean said quickly. Out of – was it guilt? He couldn’t say – he wanted Benny to know the truth.

Maybe it was the memory of what had happened the last time Emma had shown her eyes to someone close to him.

“She’s my daughter”.

“Your – “ Benny looked from Emma to Dean and back again and, with the same relaxed attitude that had made him agree to Dean’s conditions of finding Cas before they left, shrugged. “Gotta say, if you know you really see the family resemblance, brother”.

He supposed Emma did look a little bit like him. He’d never thought about it.

“Not that I want to know the details, but how did this happen?”

“Mum needed a sperm donor” Emma said bluntly. “Dean lied to her about being a rich investment banker”.

“Tell it how it is, would you” Dean said.

“Well, that is what happened.” She frowned.

She hadn’t asked him what he was doing in Purgatory. Somehow, he had the feeling she had known he was here.

“Let’s get some rest and talk, should we?” Benny suggested.

After several long-winded explanations about why Dean was even her, what Emma and Madison had been doing and a lengthy discussion about any news about angels they had heard. It seemed to be very important to her father indeed, if his excitement at the news of Cas’ and their meeting was anything to go by; neither of them had the heart to tell him Cas was actually running away from him. Maybe it was cruel to lie to him, albeit only through omission; but how much more would he have hurt hearing that his best friend didn’t want him to find him?

Later, he and Emma came to sit a little apart from Benny and Madison.

“I – “ Dean began, broke off, cleared his throat. “You’re doing a good job here.”

“Thank you” she said, feeling unexpectedly proud.

“You know... what we told you, about Benny using me to get out...”

“We don’t know what it’d do to you if you carried more than one soul. And I won’t leave Madison behind” she said immediately.

“I get that, but there could be another way – “

“Don’t waste your time” she said softly. “We have no idea how long it has been since you left earth. They need you up there. Just as they need me down here.”

She had found a purpose here. Certainly more than she would have tottering after the Winchesters, trying to be accepted into a community that hunted things like her.

 

All of her life – all two days of it, anyway – her decisions had been made for her.

_You are an amazon. You belong to the sisterhood. You have to kill your father to prove you are worthy._

This, though, this was her decision, and her decision alone.

Dean didn’t try to make her change her mind. He only looked at her, then slowly nodded.

“Alright. If you’re sure.”

“I am” she said.

“So am I!” Madison chirped from behind. “God knows you Winchesters always need someone to look after you.”

Dean chuckled. “I guess that’s true”.

Shortly before he and Benny went on their way, he pulled Emma aside again.

“Listen, kiddo – I know you feel you belong here. Fine enough. I won’t make you question that. But if you ever want to get out, you let me know, right? I’m sure you can figure out a way. Let me know and we’ll get you out of here. You and anyone else you want to help.”

“Alright, Dad” she said. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it.

They didn’t hug. Neither would have been comfortable with that. They didn’t touch at all, though Dean shook Madison’s hand and told her “she was doing a good job too”.

Emma believed she heard something like gratitude in his voice.

_Thank you for looking after my daughter._

She didn’t allow herself to dwell on it. Later.

Her eyes followed her father and his vampire friend as they walked away, undoubtedly in the direction Dean believed the angel to be. The hunter didn’t turn around at first.

But right before they were out of sight, right before what she believed would be the very last glimpse of her father she’d ever see, he turned around. Their eyes met.

He lifted his hand in what would have been a clumsy, embarrassing wave in a normal life, she was sure. In a life where she had been born to Dean and someone normal, where he had brought her up, driven her to school, taught her how to throw a football around.

It wasn’t for her, that kind of life. Even if they had all stuffed themselves into of Dean’s very mortal being, what could she do up there that she didn’t do in Purgatory anyway?

But she waved back, as she probably would have in that normal impossible life after he had dropped her off at the mall to meet her friends.

And that night, Madison pretending not to notice, she wept.


End file.
